My Sacred Divinty
by NecromancerEliza
Summary: This is my interpretation of the night Faust VIII found Eliza dead. Please Review.
1. My Sacred Divinty

I sit here in my silent solitude, a cold chill setting into me, and my hands shaking from shock. My entire being is in an intense state of pain, but not that of a physical wound. I am suffering from the loss of my whole world. My Eliza.

The rain pounds against the windows, and the thunder pounds against my soul, as my eyes glide over my Eliza's pale skin. Her once lustrous hair now falls in tangles of blood, and her now empty eyes see nothing.

In an instant I lost all that I live for  
All that I had loved, to be seen no more  
Her words, her breath, her beauty  
I have lost it most absolutely 

The sight of her laying dead in my arms brings a fresh wave of tears to me, as the fact of her death plays itself through my mind. I pull her closer, and as I do, I can feel the bit of warmth left in her leave. Holding her head to my chest, I close my eyes and allow my tears to fall. My mind wanders over the many memories I have of Eliza, from the time we played together as children, to the time I first kissed her delicate lips. Such wonderful occasions they were then, but from tonight I find them painful. My breath comes in gasps as I struggle to not to scream out to my dear Eliza. I know she cannot hear me. I know she cannot see me. And I know... she can no longer love me. This is the truth. But the truth I cannot face, and will not. I will not believe she can no longer love, nor will I believe she is truly gone. She cannot be. I won't let her be. Even still, as I assure myself of her continuity, my heart aches for her. My soul screams for her. My body yearns for her. And my tears continue to fall for her. Until now, I didn't know such pain could exist. With that thought, I realize I am going to experience this pain for a long time. Is it even bearable? Am I capable of living with this sadness inside me forever? Can I possibly go on without Eliza? I honestly don't think so. My entire being was Eliza... She was, no, is my purpose. She is the reason I breathe. She is the reason I live. Now that I will never hear her voice, I... I can't live.

To be separated apart in such haste  
It seems my moments are only waste  
What is the point of trying to live alone  
If I can't live with the only love I have ever known 

I finally manage to hold my tears inside, just long enough to stand and take Eliza into our room to lay her across our bed. I undress her and wash her wound, then dress her in a silken nightgown. I then arrange her golden tresses in a neat fan around her. Her open eyes stare coldy into nothingness, and so I gently shut them with my fingers, as I can't bear to have her staring at me so sadly. And as I pull the blankets up to her chest, I know she is only sleeping. My Eliza is very tired...

I get down on my knees, and place my elbows on our bed with my hands together. Slowly, my tears begin to fall. With every breath, my pain deepens. Each one of my memories with Eliza again play through me. Her soft golden hair, her slender body, her calm voice... All of it fresh in my mind. And the pain of missing her is steadily rising. I have lost all I know.

"...Eliza... Eli...za... Please... come...back to me... Please.."

And so ends such a terrible night  
With tears I cry, I have lost my light  
So...to live is to suffer  
For I know I shall love no other


	2. The Next Day

Morning has come. The sun is is still low, and I am still in pain. Eliza hasn't yet awakened, but I know.. I know that she will wake up soon.  
As I lay beside her, my eyes wander over her features. I remember when I first touched her face.. 

I used to be so lonely. I hadn't known the beauty of love. Then I met Eliza, and discovered a whole new set of human emotions. Things I had never felt. And I was happy. Truly happy. Because even though we were young, I knew I loved her. I could feel it. She was my everything. And she still is.

I sit up and rearrange Eliza's hands so that they rest upon her chest. My eyes fall upon her once lively face, and I am reminded of her death yet again. I do not know how my body can hold any more tears, but again I find them falling. Is such pain just? ...It can't be.

Such things I hadn't even considered  
To come home whilst you had died and began to wither  
And suddenly knowing all that is pain  
I know I shall never ever be the same

I know that death brings about sadness, for along with death there are funerals, and memories, and the sealing of ones body in a box beneath the soil...  
No. I will not allow my Eliza's beautiful self to be thrown amongst the seeds of grass, and the roots of trees. She will remain here with me.. Where she.. belongs. In my arms. 

Looking around our bedroom, I am struck with the realization that she cannot lay in our bed this way. I must move her. And I must also make it comfortable for her, as she is too good to lay in some darkened hospital room. So I set to work, creating a new room for Eliza, out of one of the clinic's rooms. By the time I have finished, it is a rather cozy room... Except for the fact of my Eliza's... slumber. But I know she will enjoy it none the less. So, I wrap our bed's blanket around her and take her into her new room. Carefully I lay her on her new bed, and cover her gently with the blanket. As I hold her hand, I assure her that everything will be fine, and that she will be safe here.

_God.. She is so cold. Too cold. _

"...Eliza.. I will get you another blanket, my love. Just wait.. a moment." And I go get another blanket to cover her.

In a shatttered state I remain  
For losing my love is too great a pain  
To heal from the inside and smile  
I'd rather live my whole life in denial

I sit by her side and hold her delicate hand. So thin and fragile, just as when she was suffering before. I remember holding her hand just like this, only those times she was smiling. Now she is not. Now, my precious Eliza will never ever smile again.

I trace over her lips with the tips of my fingers, and then brush my hand against her cheek. If only she would awaken... I press my lips against hers, and leave just one last kiss there, before.. before time takes it's toll on her. My eyes begin to fill again with tears, but I'm ready to begin pushing them away. As I dry my eyes and stand, I vow to keep Eliza within my reach at all times, day and night, in and out. Whatever I have to do to keep her here, I'll do it. I will NOT lose her body along with her spirit. I failed her once, I will not do it again. My own nonchalant attitude that day was what first brought her down. If I had been there, she would have been spared such a terrible fate. But due to my own wishes, Eliza had to pay. Now, the very roses that had kept me away from Eliza, are sitting in a vase beside my lovely Eliza. 

Eliza... Even in death, you are the most wonderful and loving person I will ever know, and no matter what happens, I will always love you.

Your smile and love seem so far away  
Your off in the heavens, but on the ground  
I must stayAnd is this my punishment for living so carefree?  
If so, then why take what is dearest to me?

* * *

If you're reading this and the poem  
"In a shatttered state I remain  
For losing my love is too great a pain  
To heal from the inside and smile  
I'd rather live my whole life in denial" looks funny, it's 'cos fanfiction wasn't reacting proper. Sorry! 

Yay! Hey Neko Neko Faust Chan (I think that's what you're called. lol) We should be friends! I really like the journal/journalist thing! lol.


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